Almost a private diary

Well, this is ok. Facebook has taken over and left blogs in their dust. I am not so good with Facebook. So I can use this blog as a sort of journal. I don't think anyone reads my blog anymore.

My Jenna is soldiering through chemo and radiation to provide more protection after having surgery to remove cancer. The doctors are pretty sure they got all the cancer, But to give Jenna the best possible shot at beating this cancer, they have recommended an aggressive combination of chemo and radiation at the same time. I got to sit with her yesterday while she was getting a 4 hour dose of chemo. I am trying really hard to not be a "helicopter mom" and give Jen the space she needs to do this treatment in her own way. I want to tell the doctors what to do. I want to do something--anything--to make her all right. She is so brave and determined. I am so proud of this strong woman who is my daughter. She is my hero.

I hate being so far away. And really I am not far. It is a 4 hour drive (younger faster drivers make it in less time) and I just made it and stayed the weekend with Jenna & her family. The naughty pugs love me and little Lola.

I have to read my scriptures and get to bed. I am really tired these days. I might be thinking too much. **smile**

in shock

WHAT???? lds.org is down for maintainence? How can that be? Whatever will I do until it's back up?

Nobody told me.....

life was fair.......

don't you hate it when

You realize you are really pretty much powerless, and the only thing you can control is yourself and your attitude and maybe the remote to the tv?

I was just wondering if I'm the only one. Probably.

My little naughty dog Henry

Ok, I just have to share this: Henry has started his food storage program! I was cleaning the crate this afternoon, and discovered 3 partial "chewies" stashed outside the crate close to his cushion. I know it's Henry because he does not like to share his chewies with Lola and he stashes them everywhere in the living room. Sometimes he stashes them in my backpack and I find them when I am at work. Sometimes he stashes them in the basket of clothes I am preparing to fold.

But whatever you might say about Henry, he is a good little Mormon dog and has his very own food storage going on. I didn't know he knew about these things. Never underestimate little naughty dogs.

A lesson learned

As I watched and waited to hear that my child would be ok, I realized what an incomprehensible act it was that Heavenly Father performed when He sent His son to earth. I have been struggling with being powerless regarding my daughter's health, and I cannot describe the sheer fear I felt and continue to feel from time to time.

How did Heavenly Father find the love and the strength to send the Savior to earth, especially when He knew how everything would turn out? How did He refrain from rescuing His son when Jesus was in agony in the Garden of Gethsemane or how could He allow Jesus to endure the the unthinkable torture and death and not strike back?

Truly, I realize that Heavenly Father loves us--REALLY LOVES US--to follow through with His plan. These last few days have given me a minuscule taste of what the Father must have gone through. I really need to be mindful of the amazing gift the Atonement is. I often think of how Jesus suffered but this past week I have a new appreciation for the suffering of my Heavenly Father.

I am also learning what it means to cry unto the Lord. There is nothing else I can do. It is so hard to say "Your will not mine" but I am getting close to meaning that. I am not there yet.

Looking back at my adventures in Utah

I had grand plans to regale everyone (all 5 of you who read my blog lol) with tales from my vacation. That did not happen as we see. When I got back home I got some news that sort of spun my head around. That news is still too fresh to write about it, and I am praying that all will be well in that department. I refuse to consider any alternatives.

So, about my vacation. I had a great time! My wonderful friends and I wandered all over Temple Square for 8-10 hours and I saw so many cool things. Our first stop was at the Salt Lake Temple and it is beautiful. We attended a session, and that was a tremendous start to the week. I am amazed at how the pioneers were able to design and build such a magnificent structure. And all the hand crafted elements. I could go on and on about the Temple, but I will spare us all. I have this thing about being in or on the grounds of a temple that just makes me not want to leave ever. Like how you feel when you come home.

Isn't this a pretty good picture taken with my little Sony something or other? What a pretty blue sky! It was a bit warm for my liking, but mercifully, most of the buildings were air conditioned. My friends, who just happened to the lovely and talented and long suffering missionaries that worked with me in Long Beach, showed me so many things, and I loved the day. I saw and learned so much I am still processing the experience.

I am so irritated. It has been so long since I uploaded pictures to my blog, I have forgotten how to do it so my photos show up in the proper order. So please bear with me.

The top photo is of "my" missionaries, the Andreasons. I just love them. What else is there to say? Except they deserve most of the credit for bringing me to the church. They are wonderful people!

The second photo is of the temple. I took over a hundred pictures that day. You will be greatly relieved, I'm sure, to learn that I have no plans to post them all in this post. I will spread them throughout the next two...NOT....

So, Tuesday we went to Provo to attend our first day of Education Week. Wow!! The campus is beautiful. And big. Very very big. I am so thankful for the vans they provided to transport older& handicapped people between locations. They sure saved my bacon! I was still stabilizing on my plethora of medications to manage the asthma I never knew I had until the week before my vacation (another very boring story so we won't go there)

I think I will review my notes from the many classes I attended before I share about those experiences. I taught the Relief Society lesson the day after I got back from my vacation, and I managed to slip a few stories from Education Week into my lesson. They were appropriate to the content, honest! And I think it made the discussion just a bit better.

I could write much more, and I probably will another time, but I am getting typists cramps in my fingers. OK, that really isn't true. I will close with a parting observation:

You can find the very best ice cream and cheese bites at the BYU Creamery. I'm just sayin'....