another first

Yesterday I went on my first visiting teaching episode. I am fortunate in that I am being "trained" so to speak, by a former Relief Society president who is known as a real go-getter and very grounded in the gospel. So far we have met with two of our three people. It was fun and seems simple enough. But that might change when I have to step up to the plate and do more than interject comments when appropriate. So far I haven't even been tempted to utter an inappropriate comment--none have entered my overactive mind (at least not when I was visiting teaching).

I just remembered that today is Wednesday and the weekly paper is out, so I need to search the want ads and see if my new job is listed there........

Should be writing a cover letter

Yep, I am applying for another job, and I need to complete all the necessary paperwork before I fax my application in. This is the boring part. Can't I just say "Hey, I think I might like this job and you might like me; let's chat"? Guess not. I moved my printer/scanner upstairs so I can scan more pictures soon.
All is quiet except for the sounds of the clicking of keys on my keyboard, and the wind outside. It's too strong to call a breeze. I would rather be walking on the beach, but I have chores.
By the way, did you notice my new blog layout?

WOW!

I am amazed--Jenna & I talked on the phone for 2 1/2 hours this evening. I can't remember the last time we talked so long. We have pretty much solved all the world's problems, now if someone will just ask for our advice **smile** I hope to get over to her when she has her surgery, but there are a few details to be worked out. Is it bad to hope I DON'T get a job soon?

My older brother Duane called me today; we talked about how much we miss our oldest brother Lee. Duane is having health problems, had a heart attack at 51(he's 56 now) and was wheezing loudly throughout today's conversation due to his COPD. Listening to him describe his life, I became even more grateful for my own life. He was just released from the hospital after getting over pneumonia, and admitted he has not stopped smoking, although he has tried multiple times. I had a very similar conversation with our mother in the fall of 1994, which was kind of hypocritical since I was still smoking then. When she had emergency surgery in January of 1995 for a perferated colon, she was unable to breathe on her own, so they gave her a tracheotomy and put her on a respirator. The respirator was never removed until the night she died, almost two months later, after spending the entire time in the intensive care unit, and being unconcious 99.9% of the time. Duane & I were with her when she died, each of us holding one of her hands. I was with Lee when he died, at his side and telling him it was ok to go. He had cancer and was in a lot of pain. I'm afraid my other two brothers are on their own. Since I plan to live on this earth for a long time, because I have lots to do, I just know I will outlive both of them.

Since I am on this gloomy roll, I may as well acknowledge my son's birthday which is tomorrow, August 4th. He would be 26 this year. Someone told me I can do his work, and we can be sealed when I am able to go to the temple. And I will be able to raise him when we are reunited. That is a comforting thought to hold on to, and yet another reason to stay on my path!

I am sorry to seem so morbid, because I really don't feel that way. Truly, I am so grateful for all of my blessings, being reminded today that I have been smoke free since January 2000, and what a miracle that is! I am sad for my mother and my brother Duane, but they made choices, and could have made the same choices I have made. Recently I was told that I have been blessed with a strong mind, a strong body and a strong spirit. When I compare myself to the rest of my family, I think that statement was more accurate than I believed at first. I know that I am so grateful for my life. I am happy, I love my life, and if I fall out of love with my life, I can do something different. I don't think my mother or my brothers had the same love of life that I have (despite "those days") and I don't know if they ever had dreams to work toward and make come true. I have had a lot of loss in my life, but I have also been graced with so much. I truly feel that most people who have been where I've been do not have the opportunity to live the life I now have. Sometimes I wonder how or why I ever was blessed so much to be able to enjoy the many, many gifts I have received.

Well, enough of my rambling. And my poor grammar & sentence structure. (Sorry Mrs. Gunning) I am off to bed, right after I find a good talk on byutv.com. This morning I learned that Steve Young is LDS. I'm tellin ya--those LDS people are everywhere!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TANISHA!!

Happy Birthday to my incredible daughter, Tanisha Nicole! From such a fragile start to the trailblazer she is today...I am blessed. And so is the rest of the world! (no mother's pride here) I love you very much!

I was awakened at 6:29 am (hurray for digital clocks!) this morning by rousing strains of "Down by the Lazy River" sung by the Osmond Family (sharing the stage with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir & the Temple Square Orchestra) on BYUTV.com. It was a part of the Jubilee in Salt Lake City. What a contrast--from sleaze to entertainment that makes me feel good in the space of a few hours. If you would like to see this terrific show, you can find it in the drop down box for the date of August 1, during the times for 6:00 to 8:00, masquerading as Studies of the Book of Mormon, Living Essentials from BYU, and Questions & Ancestors. This is proof of my rather odd habit of listening to Women's Conference talks as I am falling to sleep (or other talks when the subject catches my interest). One of the perks of living alone with the naughty puppies is that I can pursue my eccentic activities without bothering anyone else. So far the naughty puppies have not been influenced by the spiritual messages they undoubtedly hear.

Mom goes to the comedy club

Sounds like a sit com, doesn't it? My partner in crime (so to speak) heard about this comedy club deal this evening that was supposed to be "family friendly" and a cover charge of only $3.00. Well, we got there (the Labor Temple in Astoria) a little before 9:00 to get a good seat. We could have gotten there much later and still gotten a good seat. Matter of fact, when we left in the middle of the first comic's set, there were plenty of good seats. Too bad there wasn't a good and funny comedian. I was amazed--not in a good way--by the content of this comedian's routine--I really don't find nasty comments about various parts of the body very amusing. I don't think I would have been entertained by this stuff even before my great conversion, and I was pretty tolerant of most kinds of entertainment in those days. Our first clue that perhaps we had a different idea of "family friendly" entertainment than the proprietors of this establishment might have been the fact that it was a smoky, dive of a BAR. The smoke part really irritated me--now my hair smells like smoke and tonight my hair allowed me to create a GREAT do. Which will be washed out tomorrow.

It was a fun night, because it was such an adventure. This is the latest I have been out since I saw Celtic Woman in March--or was that April?

Gotta get to sleep--tomorrow is someone's birthday..........

moving onward & upward (?)

Well, things are better...or maybe things are the same but I am better. I "taught" my second lesson today in Relief Society. The topic was Elder Richard Scott's talk at the last General Conference "Healing the Shattering Consequences of Abuse" Now there is a fun thing to talk about--not! When I was practicing my lesson, I just could not get very far, no matter how many different approaches I took. Although I have both personal and professional experience with this topic, I really did not want to make this about me. My goal was to present the talk as it had been given by Elder Scott, with no personal "revelations". So I tried over and over to put this talk together, and it just was not working. By last night I was getting very concerned, so, I hit my knees and was really pleading for what I was supposed to present. Finally, felt that I was supposed to share some of my past in order to make this an effective lesson. That time, when I wrote an outline, the words flowed, the ideas came together. I got to bed about midnight. But my lesson was prepared. (Note to self: don't waste time arguing with the Holy Ghost)

Today we had awesome speakers in the first two sessions of church. I had to pray several times for the ability to listen and learn and quit thinking about myself and the lesson I had to teach third hour. I was partially successful. I have mentioned before that I live in a tourist destination, and during the summer we have LOTS of vacationing visitors and today was no exception. Anyway, I got off to a shaky start, but with the help of my sisters in RS, things picked up, and we were able to discuss openly some very important ideas for people to use in their journeys to healing, as well as some thoughts on how to protect our children from abuse. I do think that by sharing some of my past with the women, that it made it easier for them to open up a little more than they might have otherwise. At least that is my hope.

I am suffering from a caffeine headache. Yes, I fell off the wagon, and so I am detoxing yet again. I suppose I could drink caffeine free Diet Pepsi, but what would be the point? Newman's grape juice & sparkling mineral water is much better for me.

challenging day

Today has been a sad day--no particular reason--just one of those melancholy days. Looking over the past, wishing some things could be changed. Usually, I am comfortable with the directions my life has taken (with the exceptions of the pain and suffering I have caused others) because all that I have experienced in this life has brought me to this place. I have not been so accepting of my past today. I think I have been doing a lot of reading and thinking, and thinking how different my life and choices would have been had I known then what I know now. I guess I have been feeling sorry for myself, and I need to snap out of it!

I have a good life and I am grateful for all that I have.